Want it? Don't need it.

Have you ever noticed that simply asking for something actually reduces the need for that thing?  Maybe better put, knowing that something COULD be yours alleviates your desire for it?  I guess it is the classic thing with people.  Some guys seem to only want 'the girl they can't have'.  The minute they get her, they don't want her anymore.  I have noticed in my life that a lot of things that we want, or want to do, are relieved by the mere act of allowing ourselves permission to those things.  For example, I notice that if I have chocolate in the house, I am not nearly as chocolate-needy.

Another example of this was when I moved into Paul's place.  Initially, I found that I was feeling a bit like I didn't have my own space.  I didn't notice it all of the time, just on Sunday evenings when I felt like I needed to fortify myself for the coming work week by some relaxing 'alone time'.  After about a month, I told Paul that on Sunday nights I was going to take a long bath (mostly so I could have alone time) and that I needed to just be by myself.  The first Sunday, my alone time was very relaxing.  The second week, only so-so.  On the third week, I found myself calling downstairs to Paul saying that I was bored and lonely and he should come up and talk to me while I was in the bath!  So- again, once I granted myself permission, my desire for it waned!  I think I just wanted to be able to know that if I needed time to myself I could get it.

Recently, the same thing is happening to me on the internet.  I have been a user of the various social networking outlets and a frequent writer in my blog.  However, I notice that expressing myself continually on these various 'public' outlets is becoming a bit like my Sunday bath time.  Now that I have the ability to tell the world at large my every thought as it passes through my brain, I have come to the realization that I don't really need to or want to anymore.

Plus, there is that 'weight'.  The weight I am taking about is the burden of obligation.  The weight of feeling as though you HAVE to post something on the blog, or have to check in on FB to see what is happening. Obligating yourself to post pulls some of the joy out of posting your thoughts.  And let's face it.  Posting your every thought online is actually pretty boring and uninteresting. Sure, checking in on FB when you are at a restaurant is fun, but I certainly don't have an obligation to tell people where I ate tonight.

As far as the Blog, part of me feels as though, the thing that made me want to blog was becoming obscured by my desire to have it well thought out, topical and potentially interesting/funny for those who read it plus the obligation of regular postings (or else you will all abandon me).

AND THERE IT IS..  The fallacy.  My millions of adoring fans will be disappointed if I don't post.  Hmm... dissecting that last sentence sheds a bit of reality of this.  Millions: There is no one reading this- well, not many of you.  Adoring: those of you who are reading know me personally, probably and are as likely as not to continue reading my thoughts if they are less often.  Disappointed:  Well, I can't imagine that people would be craving my every thought on things (if you are, please join stalker's anonymous please).

So - my new take on this blog.  I will post when I damn well feel like it.  You can come and read my thoughts (which will likely be fairly well thought out and fairly personal but not too personal).  Maybe knowing that I won't post every day will actually have the reverse effect and have you wanting more!